You know what's wrong?

And I thought that being strong meant never losing your self-control.... You know what's wrong? When you see so many people look up to you and you know you have frickin disappointed them. Your mum, your dad, your relatives and your peers. They see you as an inspiration but you fall flat on your face. Right smack in there and you know you cant do any better. Bad start with a disastrous GP paper, only Allah knows the sunken feeling in here. The change in venue, not used to a classroom at all and I cant read the wall clock fast enough! Need an electronic one.. but excuses excuses excuses. I guess, the best thing I can do is to give the rest my best. Have I made a right choice? Allahumma zuqna ya Rabbi fahman Nabi. Wa hifzol mursalin, wa ilha Malmala ikatin muqarrabin. Fi 'afiyatin ya Arhamma rahemeen. My former madrasah used to compulsorise this doa in the morning every week in addition to singing the asma' ul-Husna and only until now was I able to fully understand the deep meaning into it. By the way it means I think, "O Allah, bless us with the understanding of our Prophets and the memory of our Rasuls... And the knowledge of the angels (what is muqarrabin?) . And grant us good health, O Allah, the Most beneficient. Well, i think it means this, so sorry for my rusty arabic:( Google it for the proper one hahaha