Chapter Three- The Good in our hearts
The Rebel II
It was silent and cold when she got back. It was always silent and cold when she got back. The moon shone bright enough to reveal the sparse emptiness of her house. Bahiyya dropped her bag at the door and slowly walked in the dark towards the kitchen. There, although she was hungry, the first thing she took was the first aid box. Her chin had a cut.
Of course, she never expected herself to get punched right in the jaws. Especially not from one of her 'members'. Rahim had apologised for that, said it was an accident. Said that he got excited. Said he was messing around with her. He probably said a little too much too. If Rahim had not punched her though, Bahiyya would have continued terrorising the kids they picked on that day. She had secretly welcomed the punch.
Finally in her sanctuary, Bahiyya or 'Bah' as her friends preferred calling her could be herself. Alone in the dark, she had never felt more comfortable. After cleaning her wound and applied some pressure to the cut, she removed her hair band allowing her luscious hair to fall back. She was a lady afterall, despite the tough facade others knew her by.
Pouring tap water into a cup, she stepped into her room and crashed onto her reclining chair. The day's memories flooded her minds. It was almost routine for her to do so. It served as a reminder that she was sane and humane. She could see the little boy's face in her mind. The petrified look fixed on his face and his quivering hands trying to shield himself from her.
"Please... please dont..." the boy stammered.
Bah flinched as she recalled her hands coming down hard on the boy's cheeks. At that moment, tears started cascading down her cheeks. She remembered the verbal assault that followed as she demanded the boy for more money. Ohh, her words stung her. It was more painful than the cut. Her heart was wounded by her cruelty.
"Oh God... forgive your servant..."
She whispered as she continued sobbing. Her members had surrounded them both, some cheering on while most stared ahead, neither encouraging nor stopping her. She was savage. She broke her victim physically and perhaps left a permanent scar mentally. She was a monster. Not in the eyes of her helpless prey but in her very own eyes. She acknowledges it.
Bah struggled to pen down all the nitty bitty details of her day's assault in a large notebook.She took pains to remember the name of her victims and the amount she squeezed out of them. Unlike the others, she was different. She was constantly in a battle of two evils. She was scapegoat of Fate's harsh reality.
"Dear notebook...
Today it was Aiman from Year Two. $9.45. Bought the usual bread and kaya for mum and me....
I cannot take this any longer. This pain... Oh, God, this pain is killing me. I pray someday they find the strength to forgive a wretched person like me. I have sinned again God and i will have to sin again. Relieve my victims of their suffering and inflict the pain they feel twice onto me.
They ask me why i do this. For the money? For the protection we give? Ohh... they do not know. I am the one in need of the protection and these kind souls are the ones giving them. My harsh exterior, notebook, is a reflection of thr harsh test God have laid upon me. All i seek is not the ones i prey on to pity me for i do not deserve their pity but their forgiveness.
Bah stopped penning her thoughts and wiped her tears. Her stomach was growling. Careful to take just one slice of bread, she put a dab of kaya on the bread and swallowed the bread full. She then muttered her gratitude to God and her helpless victims. That would be her nourishment for the day.
It was silent and cold when she got back. It was always silent and cold when she got back. The moon shone bright enough to reveal the sparse emptiness of her house. Bahiyya dropped her bag at the door and slowly walked in the dark towards the kitchen. There, although she was hungry, the first thing she took was the first aid box. Her chin had a cut.
Of course, she never expected herself to get punched right in the jaws. Especially not from one of her 'members'. Rahim had apologised for that, said it was an accident. Said that he got excited. Said he was messing around with her. He probably said a little too much too. If Rahim had not punched her though, Bahiyya would have continued terrorising the kids they picked on that day. She had secretly welcomed the punch.
Finally in her sanctuary, Bahiyya or 'Bah' as her friends preferred calling her could be herself. Alone in the dark, she had never felt more comfortable. After cleaning her wound and applied some pressure to the cut, she removed her hair band allowing her luscious hair to fall back. She was a lady afterall, despite the tough facade others knew her by.
Pouring tap water into a cup, she stepped into her room and crashed onto her reclining chair. The day's memories flooded her minds. It was almost routine for her to do so. It served as a reminder that she was sane and humane. She could see the little boy's face in her mind. The petrified look fixed on his face and his quivering hands trying to shield himself from her.
"Please... please dont..." the boy stammered.
Bah flinched as she recalled her hands coming down hard on the boy's cheeks. At that moment, tears started cascading down her cheeks. She remembered the verbal assault that followed as she demanded the boy for more money. Ohh, her words stung her. It was more painful than the cut. Her heart was wounded by her cruelty.
"Oh God... forgive your servant..."
She whispered as she continued sobbing. Her members had surrounded them both, some cheering on while most stared ahead, neither encouraging nor stopping her. She was savage. She broke her victim physically and perhaps left a permanent scar mentally. She was a monster. Not in the eyes of her helpless prey but in her very own eyes. She acknowledges it.
Bah struggled to pen down all the nitty bitty details of her day's assault in a large notebook.She took pains to remember the name of her victims and the amount she squeezed out of them. Unlike the others, she was different. She was constantly in a battle of two evils. She was scapegoat of Fate's harsh reality.
"Dear notebook...
Today it was Aiman from Year Two. $9.45. Bought the usual bread and kaya for mum and me....
I cannot take this any longer. This pain... Oh, God, this pain is killing me. I pray someday they find the strength to forgive a wretched person like me. I have sinned again God and i will have to sin again. Relieve my victims of their suffering and inflict the pain they feel twice onto me.
They ask me why i do this. For the money? For the protection we give? Ohh... they do not know. I am the one in need of the protection and these kind souls are the ones giving them. My harsh exterior, notebook, is a reflection of thr harsh test God have laid upon me. All i seek is not the ones i prey on to pity me for i do not deserve their pity but their forgiveness.
Bah stopped penning her thoughts and wiped her tears. Her stomach was growling. Careful to take just one slice of bread, she put a dab of kaya on the bread and swallowed the bread full. She then muttered her gratitude to God and her helpless victims. That would be her nourishment for the day.
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