2009 Commonwealth Essay Entry

Wrote this 4 years ago and there's a lot of awkward expressions inside...

Girl Power by Wan Muhammad Aliff

Red. Red is the colour of life. A single drop of this colour sparks the beginning of a new chapter. Red represents vitality and energy so strikingly displayed that hardly at first glance, should it be the first colour to begin with. Yet, red was the first colour I could ever remember. Her smile, smooth and flawless but blemished by the weight of exaggeratedly applied lip gloss, was warm and soothing to the sight. Hence, was it that crimson red lip gloss or her round rosy cheeks that gave me the strength? The strength within me to draw in my first breath and to prise open my eyes wide open. Yet, deep beneath her make-up and youthful hide lays the red that truly fascinates me. Blood. That very same drop of red has blossomed to form a unique individual of which one of them was me. Our remarkable growth from that drop to form an entity with vast capacities for knowledge and further growth is nothing below stunning.

When she looked at me, I could tell from her brown, hazelnut eyes that she had finally found solace, a comfort that no words or actions could ever replicate. This was the exact same comfort that I could feel creeping through the hundreds of layers of my skin. As I lay snug in a blanket of plain cloth, a new bond was forming between the two of us. One that entwines itself, deeply rooting itself in the cores of our hearts and one that was predestined to live on for eternity even when our hearts had pumped it’s final gush of blood. As she cradled me in her arms tightly and protectively, she bent over and kissed me lightly over the forehead. At that instant moment, I realised that it was not the cloth, pathetically draped over my naked body that had provided me the source of warmth that had kept me snug. It was her touch.

Orange. Orange is the colour of ripeness. It represents maturity and knowledge that can only be bought through experience. As years trickle by, people change and new events unfold. Events make us ponder on the purpose of our existence. Orange was the next colour that clearly intrigues me. She bore another smile on her face, yet that smile was evidently very different from her first one. This time, her lips were curved thinly like plasticine strips and yet, still feature a crisp and stern overall picture on her face. Orange was the colour that reminded me of her smile then, a shade that strikes a cold arrow right through my afterthoughts. Orange was also the dying colours of red. Her smile was faltering like the petals on a wilting plant. Her face was barely concealing a mask of exasperation and fatigue coupled with immense stress and anxiety, an odd make-up to apply in my opinion. I crawled to a corner of the room, unwilling to see that smile ever on her face again.

Yellow. Yellow is the colour of rebirth. Bright and cheery, yellow opens a new window into our hollowed existence. Yellow is the colour that never dies and it represents the dawn of a new hope. Now, she is smiling serenely, her lips arched wide upon her jubilant face. Now and then, these lips would part open letting out an excited squeal or a string of random, melodic bursts of tunes the world had never heard of before. In her right hand, she held a suitcase, huge and bulky due to the hastily dumped necessities for both of us inside, and in her right hand, she held my hand. She held with a tight grip, fuelled by her excitement on the prospect of a new adventure waiting outside these four walls. Her gaze swept the whole room, ensuring that nothing were spared knowing that it was the last time they were to see the place I had once fondly called home. Yet, her gaze never swept past me. Somewhere in a pit of my heart, a tinge of loneliness swirled. Yellow that day may be her joy but cold was all that I felt. I returned her grip with an even stronger one. She barely noticed it.

Green. Green is the colour of freshness. At times when we least expect, we find peace in our routine, the sort of piece that settles in our mind like snowflakes on a sunny day. Green is the breath of freedom and relaxation. Green is the time when time comes to a standstill. This was also the time i could never remember her facial expression. I could only vaguely remember her smile that matches tranquillity as we settled in our new environment. I could sit on the floor, pencil and paper in both hands listening to her crooning over a song by Frank Sinatra, terribly off-pitch but yet beautiful. She was a green sapling emerging from a crack in the pavement and here she was picture perfect. Had this ever happened? Sometimes I wonder.

Blue. Blue is the end of the beginning. Blue is when time stretches the longest because blue represents diversity. When life becomes hard, you look out for someone out there to hear your cry of help. Someone out there has an open ear and that person has always been there waiting for you. Time is relative; it waits for you when you are ready to wait for it. Her smile now was more fazed and unclear. Her brown, hazelnut eyes were glassy and her wrinkles were literally carving it’s way across her forehead. Blue streaks of heartache spilled out as she finally revealed the emptiness she felt inside. Being alone for long had cast a permanent scar on her confidence. Long have I waited to finally hear her thoughts. However, when the time came, I was left dumbstruck and silent. It was too unbearable.

Indigo and violet, the final colours of sorrow. Every story has a chapter to be read more than once. Perhaps a chapter that is particularly memorable. Now, as the colours faded away from her skin, I looked at the night sky outside the window. Her raspy voice and frequent coughing did not mar her smile even on her death bed. Her face racked with pain barely concealed the truth that her legend was about to end then. Her shaky smile, lips cracked, dry and scaly was ever so beautiful like her first smile. This chapter to me is simply unforgettable. Indigo was the colour of pain.

I kissed her forehead tenderly before her burial just like when she had given me the vital strength through her kiss when I was first born into this world. Now, I imparted the strength for us to go our own separate ways. No tears were shed then and there were no one breaking down in a fit of sadness. Her life story may be short, common and insignificant but she was my symbol of resilience, courage and strength. The colours of the rainbow were now complete. I turned around, remembering the last smile she had bore, the one imprinted on her corpse. That was the only genuine smile I had seen on her face. I turned around and walked away, determined to create the rainbow that she had made for me for another deserving person.