Letter To Allah

Found this 4-year old letter in my memory box. Enjoy:)

  Most Magnificient Allah and Creator

All Praise and thanks is due to thee, O Allah, the Light of Whose Countenance illuminates the heaven and the Earth. All praise and thanks is due to thee, O Allah, Who created everything out of nothing, and Who created me , even though You did not need me. Allah, I know that You know everything that is within me, yet I do not know all that is within You. Yet it helps me to "write" You a letter, and so I ask Your merciful indulgence as I write this to You.

Allah, how can I face Your Magnificent Presence? Everyday, the weakness of the human condition overtakes me, and I fall short of the standards You called me to uphold. How can I face Your Magnificent Presence? You have given me so much, yet so many times, I have sinned against You. How can I face Your Magnificent Presence?

When I think about the bounties, and blessings, and mercy You have showered upon me, I am strengthened and inspired to rise above the flesh that so often drags me to this Earth. Yet, when I am alone- faced with my demons of darkness- I frequently fall short of Your Grace. Allah, I don't know how I could face Your Magnificent Presence. 

Yet, You are still here for me, Allah. In fact, You have always been there for me, Allah. When I was growing up, my mother and father tried to instill fear of You in me and it worked. Yet, the image I conjured up of You- and I ask for Your forgiveness- is that of a God waiting for me to fall, so that He can slap me down in punishment. I know that is not You, Allah. I know You are more Loving and Kind and Merciful and Gentle than that. I know this now, but when I did not know then, still You were there for me.

When I struggled as a teenager to be true to You and suffering painful and lonely isolation for the fidelity, You were there for me.When I was ridiculed by my peers for staying true to Your Way, You were there for me.You helped me soothe me when I hurt so much. When I doubted the truth of the message of Your Noble Prphet, You did not cast me down. You did not turn me away, You were there for me. When I suffered through the depths of darkness and solitude, You wrer there for me. Even when I flirted with leaving the faith, and calling upon someone else besides You, Magnificent Allah, You were there for me.

You have always been there for me Allah, and I thank You from the bottom of my heart. And I ask for Your Soothing Mercy from which prophet Jacob (peace be upon him) told his sons never to despair. I beg for your forgiveness, O Allah. I have fallen your path more times than I want to count, O Allah, and You know about every single time. I am so sorry O Allah. More times than I want to count O Allah, I have forgotten that- when no other eyes are upon me- Your Magnificent Eyes are watching me. Allah God, I am so sorry. Forgive me O Allah.

I need Your Mercy more than ever. Allah, I need to be enveloped in Your soothing Grace. My God, please don't cut me off. Please forgive my trespasses against Thee. Please overlook my shortcomings. Please pardon my human weaknesses. My God, don't cut me off. For if You were to cut me off, then where would I go, O Allah. What would I do, O Allah? How could I live , O Allah, without the Light of Your Countenance illuminating my dark  and hard heart? Allah, please don't cut me off! Please Allah, take me in, even though I have estranged myself from you so many times with my sins.

Allah, I love You with all my heart, all my mind, all my soul. Allah, I ask for Your Love for me. My Most Holy C reator, on the Day when we will meet You, let me into Your Magnificent and Holy Presence. Let me be with Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). let me be his neighbor in Paradise. let me be able to talk to him there, tell him about my life, and listen to him about his. Allah God, let me see Your Glorious Face in the highest of Gardens. Let me into Your Presence by Your Gentle, Soothing and Wonderful Grace. Allah God, I thank you for all You have given me, and I ask for You to forgive me for never being a fully grateful servant. In Your Most Holy Name, O Allah, I ask all of these things.

Ameen.