The Gentleman
One day, I met with the gentleman. He was suave, calm and collected but what struck me more was how ordinary he looked, the kind you would not even bother giving a second glance. He goes by the name Edwin and it is rather unfortunate that I was unable to get his surname and hence, his whereabouts ceases to exist within my perimeter of social circle. The past few days, I was given the priviledge to attend MINDEF's (Ministry of Defense) Experience programme or MEP for short. It is a pioneering programme that soughts to give the greatest young minds in Singapore a taste of what scholars in Singapore experience when they sign into the Singapore Armed Forces. (SAF) Frankly, I was almost practically the only person from a junior college that does not obtain the regular straight A's, facing the trouble to even obtaining a pass in my subjects. However, there, I met the gentleman with the name Edwin.
He was muscular and handsome and yet, there is a strong air of humbleness around him. Edwin gave a smile appropriately and never raised his voice to anyone. On two of the four days overnight camp, we had to carry heavy SAR-21 guns wherever we went and he used his strength to help sling the guns over his groupmates who had difficulty doing so and even holding their 1 litre water bottles automatically when their hands were slightly over ocuupied. He told his story very humbly too- he had bagged a scholarship to a local university already and yet, did not brag or elaborate further and instead prefered listening to our aspirations and goals. He was a good listener, always apt and respectful.
In the MEP, we had several cocktail sessions every evening for approximately two-three hours and so we had to approach or be approached by these officers from the respective armed forces and to talk to them between our meal. Most of us after finishing our meal, we excuse ourselves from the small group to take drinks or more cocktail but not him. He sat patiently and listening intently until the officers too had eaten their share of food. When we were done talking, he offered to pick the plates and cups that were empty and thanked the officer profusely for sharing his experiences and wished him the best. He never barged into any of us asking questions and even offered us to ask our questions first.
During the policy challenge whereby we had to come out with various policies to solve some issues with the current SAF system, we had a discussion together. We stayed in the same bunk so naturally, we were put into the same grouping with about 8 others. The consensus from our discussion was not going as what I would have wanted as the policy the group came up with was not indept and inaccurate to the situation given. I voiced another idea and yet, it fell to deaf ears so I left to the toilet midway. Edwin went to the toilet also and there, he said that I looked dissatisfied so he asked me of my opinion. He acknowledged it and input the others ideas to come to a compromise. Our group approached a supervising officer finally to clarify any misunderstandings and finally, I was satisfied and generally everyone else was satisfied. This was the quiet gentleman at his work.
He held the door to everyone if he could and thank the person who opens it for him. He waits for the last man to leave after every meal, to tie his shoelaces and be the last man to everything else. Leave no man behind. However, he gives the most resourceful feedback. If something seems amiss or if someone made a mistake, he never humiliate the person by telling him the mistake directly. He even gave him positive feedback before suggesting another alternative that would make the person in a better light. He never let down another person and he has emphaty.
In a talk that we had on leadership we were asked this question on what a leader should have. Many offered: confidence, ready, firm, adaptive, effective. But what he gave was "humility" and repect to those you lead. This summarises the role of a true gentleman. Putting others before you no matter the situation. Another incident which struck me was when I prayed in my bunk to fulfill the 5 daily muslim prayers. My bunk mates were shocked and taken aback and as I prayed I heard wild talking of "what is he doing?". Edwin's voice rose above the rest as he said firmly, "Guys let us be quiet and respect what he is doing". Enough said.
He was muscular and handsome and yet, there is a strong air of humbleness around him. Edwin gave a smile appropriately and never raised his voice to anyone. On two of the four days overnight camp, we had to carry heavy SAR-21 guns wherever we went and he used his strength to help sling the guns over his groupmates who had difficulty doing so and even holding their 1 litre water bottles automatically when their hands were slightly over ocuupied. He told his story very humbly too- he had bagged a scholarship to a local university already and yet, did not brag or elaborate further and instead prefered listening to our aspirations and goals. He was a good listener, always apt and respectful.
In the MEP, we had several cocktail sessions every evening for approximately two-three hours and so we had to approach or be approached by these officers from the respective armed forces and to talk to them between our meal. Most of us after finishing our meal, we excuse ourselves from the small group to take drinks or more cocktail but not him. He sat patiently and listening intently until the officers too had eaten their share of food. When we were done talking, he offered to pick the plates and cups that were empty and thanked the officer profusely for sharing his experiences and wished him the best. He never barged into any of us asking questions and even offered us to ask our questions first.
During the policy challenge whereby we had to come out with various policies to solve some issues with the current SAF system, we had a discussion together. We stayed in the same bunk so naturally, we were put into the same grouping with about 8 others. The consensus from our discussion was not going as what I would have wanted as the policy the group came up with was not indept and inaccurate to the situation given. I voiced another idea and yet, it fell to deaf ears so I left to the toilet midway. Edwin went to the toilet also and there, he said that I looked dissatisfied so he asked me of my opinion. He acknowledged it and input the others ideas to come to a compromise. Our group approached a supervising officer finally to clarify any misunderstandings and finally, I was satisfied and generally everyone else was satisfied. This was the quiet gentleman at his work.
He held the door to everyone if he could and thank the person who opens it for him. He waits for the last man to leave after every meal, to tie his shoelaces and be the last man to everything else. Leave no man behind. However, he gives the most resourceful feedback. If something seems amiss or if someone made a mistake, he never humiliate the person by telling him the mistake directly. He even gave him positive feedback before suggesting another alternative that would make the person in a better light. He never let down another person and he has emphaty.
In a talk that we had on leadership we were asked this question on what a leader should have. Many offered: confidence, ready, firm, adaptive, effective. But what he gave was "humility" and repect to those you lead. This summarises the role of a true gentleman. Putting others before you no matter the situation. Another incident which struck me was when I prayed in my bunk to fulfill the 5 daily muslim prayers. My bunk mates were shocked and taken aback and as I prayed I heard wild talking of "what is he doing?". Edwin's voice rose above the rest as he said firmly, "Guys let us be quiet and respect what he is doing". Enough said.
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